


playlist for the foxes

by m1nyardj0sten



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/F, F/M, I'll update tags as I go, M/M, basically a bunch of one shots put together, i would die for these characters, the foxes are all icons, they own my heart, with lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m1nyardj0sten/pseuds/m1nyardj0sten
Summary: Most days, Neil thinks he can still feel his mother's fingers in his hair and her harsh whispers in his ear. Neil doesn't believe in ghosts, but sometimes he second guesses himself. His imagination is not this creative; his mother's touches feel all too real.Andrew hates Neil Josten. Andrew HATES Neil Josten. The boy who was a rabbit. That rabbit that became a fox. The fox that wormed its way into Andrew's head.Or, a soundtrack for the chaotic foxes' lives and how their stories relate.
Relationships: Allison Reynolds/Renee Walker (All For The Game), Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Seth Gordon/Allison Reynolds
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	playlist for the foxes

**Author's Note:**

> The song used in this part of the collection is "Silence" by Marshmellow (feat. Khalid).

_Yeah I'd rather be a lower than a fighter_

_'Cause all my life I've been fighting_

Most days, Neil think he can feel his mother's fingers in his hair and her harsh whispers in his ear. Neil doesn't believe in ghosts, but sometimes he second guesses himself. His imagination is not this creative; his mother's touches feel all too real. 

After an especially bad day at practice, Neil stood under the shower faucet long after the water turned cold. Neil had fumbled around with the ball for the entire practice and he had failed to score. Kevin's incessant reminders of his failures combined with Neil's frustration with himself left him seething, but frightened at the same time. If he failed to perform, the Moriyamas would come for him with no hesitation. All memories he had of his mother told him that she’d be quietly and urgently screaming in his ear to tell him to run, hide, anything that involves moving. He itched to go running, just to quiet his mother’s voice.

But he didn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to move from underneath the cold water that was now pooling around his feet. Neil was tired. He was tired of running and tired of fighting. He wondered what it felt like have to have a normal life.

“You coming?” called a gruff voice. An indifferent one that could have only come from Andrew. “I don’t care, but Nicky wants to leave.”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Neil said. His voice sounded hoarse and strained. 

He shut off the water. 

As he wrapped himself in a towel, a shiver ran down his back. He didn’t realize how cold he had been until now. He must have been in the shower longer than he thought.

He met Andrew at the door. “Ready?” Andrew asked. If he saw any form of panic written on Neil’s face or shown in his frame, Andrew said nothing. Neil was grateful.

He nodded. “Let’s go.”

* * *

_And I never had someone to call my own_

_I’m so used to sharing_

Andrew hates Neil Josten. Andrew hates Neil Josten. The boy who was a rabbit The rabbit that became a fox. The fox that wormed its way into Andrew’s head. 

Andrew hates Neil, but at the same time-

No, he definitely hates him. Hates the boy that made him feel. Hates the boy that seemed to understand him so effortlessly. Hates the boy that seemed to like him back. 

Andrew stubbed his cigarette into the roof beneath his palms and proceeded to attempt to light another one. He hands shook too much, so he threw the unlit cigarette off the roof in a moment of frustration. 

He pulled out another one, and shakily lit the end of it. Neil’s cocky smile kept flashing against his eyelids. 

Andrew hates Neil because he was too good to be true. He was a pipe dream, too unrealistic and too much like Cass. Andrew hated Neil.

But he couldn’t get rid of him.

Dammit. Andrew would have to tell Nicky to stop making jokes about dating Neil. Andrew’s fox boy was his. His alone. And he had been since the beginning. 

* * *

_I found peace in your violence_

_Can’t show me, there’s no point in trying_

_I’m at one and i’ve been quiet for too long_

Neil remembers the first time Andrew had offered his protection. Neil has been skeptical then. No one could rival a monster like his father. But he had come to learn that Andrew was in a class of his own. When he fought for something, he fought with his life, a quality that Neil was all too familiar with. 

Andrew’s protection has meant that Neil could stop running. He was finally safe. And then Neil has retracted that deal, that promise, and then everything has gone to hell. 

Now his father was dead, Riko was dead, his mother was dead. There was a deal put in place with Ichirou for his protection. Neil didn’t have to run anymore. Good thing too, because he was tired. Neil was so tired of running and hiding and retreating like a coward. 

It was time he spoke up.

When Neil told Andrew his thoughts, the blonde haired boy hadn’t laughed like Neil thought he would. Instead, Andrew had looked him in the eye and said, “I told you to stop running a long time ago. It’s up to you whether you listen or not.”

Then Andrew had left to go pick up some ice cream, leaving Neil in the couch lost in his thoughts. 

Neil wanted to stop hiding and Andrew obviously agreed. The only thing left that Neil was running from was his trauma, his past, and himself. It was time that he presented himself the way he really was, acceptance be damned. 

Neil glanced down at his fumbling fingers. He scars were definitely healing, but they still looked red and shiny against his pale skin. 

Neil didn’t like his scars, but he was getting used to them.

He had an idea.

Allison was the one who helped him set it up. She made the calls, set up the appointments, and kept in touch with all the people needed for his project. Then, eventually, with Andrew by his side, Neil had presented his scars to the world in the form of a magazine photoshoot. 

Neil has been so nervous that day, but he didn’t know what he was worried about. It wasn’t like he really cared about what the world thought and he no longer had to worry about his father finding him. So the only person he was running from was himself.

It was far past time for him to stop being a rabbit.

It was time to stop running.

* * *

_I’m in need of a savior_

_But I’m not asking for favors_

Andrew doesn't believe in God. And because of this, he doesn't go to church. Ever.

He figures that if God was real, He wouldn’t let all those bad things happen to him when he was younger. He figures that he wouldn’t have left those bad things happen to Neil. Because even if Andrew deserved what he got, there was no way in hell that Nathaniel did. Besides, Nathaniel has long since been dead. He died in Baltimore with his bastard of a father. 

So when Nicky has tentatively asked Andrew if he would attend Sunday morning mass with him and Aaron one morning, Andrew refused via a knife to the groin. Nicky has squeaked in alarm, apologized profusely and left in a hurry. 

There has been no mention of church that day until Neil and Andrew we’re lying in their dorm bed. “I get it, you know,” his fox boy had whispered through chapped lips, eyelashes fluttering on his cheeks. 

Andrew didn’t respond.

“I understand why going to church is so touchy for you,” Neil has continued.

Andrew hummed and rolled onto his back, facing away from Neil. 

“You feel like if God were real, He wouldn’t have abandoned you like that. He wouldn’t have let you get hurt like that. He wouldn’t have let me get hurt like that. And I just want you to know that I agree.”

Andrew refused to respond. He was not going to talk about this right now. He didn’t want to talk about this ever. 

“I want to be your answer,” came a whisper from his fox boy. 

But Neil wasn’t his answer. He couldn’t be. Andrew has worked so hard to make sure he relied on no one, owed nothing to no one. He was independent and alone, but he’d never have to deal with another heartbreak. That was until Neil had come along.

Dammit.

“Go to sleep junkie,” Andrew had whispered back, unwilling to look Neil in the face. He felt the bed shift as Neil flipped onto his back. It was a few minutes before Neil’s breathing evened out, but he fell asleep without saying another word. This left Andrew to come to terms with his thoughts. 

Because, maybe, he wanted to be Neil’s answer too.

* * *

_Loving never gave me a home_

_So I sit here in the silence_

They were on the roof together smoking when Andrew mentioned that he plays the guitar. Neil had given his own truth, confessing that he used to draw as a way to relieve stress as a kid. His mother has tried to teach him piano when he was younger, probably hoping that he would keep some form of creativity or grace in his hands that were being trained to kill. Neil had failed spectacularly, but had enjoyed his hand at drawing. Unfortunately, his father had caught him one day and punished him severely, so Neil admitted that he hadn’t drawn since. 

In the silence that followed Neil’s confession, Andrew admitted that he played guitar. 

Neil had nodded in acceptance and asked if Andrew would play for him sometime. The blonde haired boy had only shrugged in response. For now, they would sit comfortably in the silence and enjoy the trust they had built in each other. 

These boys were so past love at this point. The simple I love you would be no longer sufficient to express their feelings. 

They trusted each other. They understood each other. They found comfort in the other. They enjoyed each other. They supported each other. They needed each other.

So in the silence they knew. As long as they stayed together, they’d be alright. 


End file.
